Researching Grief – Childhood Grief Resources

Researching Grief – Childhood Grief Resources

So my blog posts are going to be out of order this month, but I wanted this post to be available to my newsletter subscribers…and I sent it out a few hours ago. 😉

I’ve returned to researching for my Civil War story, and this time I am researching Childhood Grieving.

One of the backdrops to my story is the fresh loss of a parent to the two children my heroine cares for. This is not something I take lightly or just threw in to add more complications to the story. 1 in 20 kids experiences the death of a loved one or friend by the time they are 16. As a caregiver myself, my heart breaks for these situations, and I wanted to explore the messy complications of grief, faith, and real life. However, I didn’t want to be inaccurate in my portrayal of their grief, even if the story is never seen from the perspective of the children.

 

Therefore, I dove into some serious research and discovered many helpful resources. I want to share those resources with you in hopes that they may be a comfort or help to you as well. Whether you are a caregiver, a friend, or the one who has lost someone, there is a resource for you below.

 

 

My favorite resource is the NAGC Hero Toolkit. Regardless of who you are, we all have family or friends who have lost a loved one. This toolkit gives practical ways to reach into your own life or into the lives of others and be “a hero” through the grief process. I REALLY REALLY recommend checking it out.

NAGC Hero Toolkit – This Superhero Toolkit, developed for children, teens and their support network, provides activities and conversations designed to empower each of us to become everyday superheroes.

National Alliance for Grieving Children – The National Alliance for Grieving Children (NAGC) is a nonprofit organization that raises awareness about the needs of children and teens who are grieving a death and provides education and resources for anyone who supports them.

New York Life Bereavement Resources – Helping families in times of grief is at the heart of our company’s mission, and our research has shown that families who lose a loved one wish they had more resources and support available to them. In an effort to address this gap, we have developed this dedicated online grief resource which offers articles, expert tips, personal stories and local resources for families, educators and community members

Trauma and Grief Center Guidelines for Parents – This is an amazing resource with how different ages perceive death, common fears, positive parenting strategies, and red flags.

The Shared Grief Project – The Shared Grief Project envisions a world where no child grieves alone. To achieve this, we share the stories of individuals who have experienced a major loss at an early age and have gone on to live healthy, happy and successful lives.  (I really recommend you check this one out.)

The Dougy Center – The Dougy Center provides support in a safe place where children, teens, young adults, and their families grieving a death can share their experiences. We provide support and training locally, nationally, and internationally to individuals and organizations seeking to assist children in grief.

Centering – non-profit organization dedicated to providing education and resources for the bereaved. Centering was founded in 1977 by Joy and Dr. Marvin Johnson. Centering started with nine little coloring books for hospitalized children and two workshop offerings for nurses and families. In response to the need for support by families and caregivers while facing their grief experience we developed many new resources. Today we have over 500 grief resources for children and adults. Centering continues to provide educational resources and bookstore for caregivers and families.

 

If you have any additional resources, I’d love for you to share them below! And if I can pray for you, my inbox is always open.

Researching Grief – Childhood Grief Resources

Getting into Character

Have you ever wondered about how authors come up with characters? I’m sure every author has their own process, but I can guarantee you, it is similar to making new friends. In the beginning, you don’t really know much about them. Sometimes you’ll have a name, sometimes not. The same goes for descriptions, personalities, jobs, etc. They are just this person that is sort of an enigma, and it takes work to get to know them.

 

While I struggle to make friends with people existing outside of fiction–I can’t say real people because my fiction characters DO become real to me–I always get very excited when it comes time to meet my newest characters. I thought it might be fun to take you through a little bit of my process as I get to know a character I’m developing for a short story. At this point, I know VERY little about my character. I’ve already brainstormed a few ideas with my critique partner, but Harriet is still very flat on the paper.

 

What I do know:

Harriet Carmichael is a bit of an outsider to the upper-class society in which her family partakes. She goes beyond avid gardener to more of the botanist level, and she relates better to the plants than people. In fact, most people find her odd even though gardening was a perfectly acceptable hobby for upper-class women of the time.

 

She is forced to attend the Christmas party of a woman who is skilled at double-edged compliments and making Harriet feel even more insignificant than before. However, while at this party, she receives a note or a gift (not sure which yet) from a secret admirer. No matter how much she wishes it were true, she can’t believe its authenticity. However, something happens (again, don’t know what yet) will send her on a hunt to discover the true identity of the letter writer. Was it another cruel joke of the woman, or had someone really seen her and wanted to get to know her better?

 

That’s it, that’s all I really know right now, but I’m really excited about writing this brief story. Depending on how it turns out, it may be my Christmas gift to my newsletter subscribers. But I digress…

 

After attending the Online Character Summit this weekend, I am determined to take some of what I have learned and carve Harriet into a deeper more human character that we can all relate to on some level. So here we go:


Getting to Know Harriet

 

This portrait by George Clausen is how I physically envision Harriet at the moment. She’s nothing extraordinary, and her clothes are rather dull. She tends to wear browns in order to disguise her constant work in the soil. From here, it becomes sort of an interview process.

 

Me: So Harriet, who are you? Why do you feel you that you don’t fit in? It can’t just be your love of plants.

 

Harriet (rubbing hands together and then tucking them behind her when she finds dirt under her nails): I don’t really know much about people, and honestly, I don’t understand them. People are unpredictable. Plants follow certain rules, I know what they need to coax them into vibrancy, which ones to pair together, and which ones to plant in order to entice or repel certain insects or animals. I love being able to create and work within God’s creation. Plants are exactly what they are supposed to be. People? Not so much.

 

It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that I don’t know what to make of them. Some are genuinely who they appear to be, others opposite from what they present to the world. I have a few friends, but mostly, I am uncomfortable around people. I don’t know what to say. I don’t enjoy the same things as my peers.

 

I like books about gardening, plant life, and even scientific articles about altering plants to be more sturdy against the elements. Miss Austen, Mr. Dickens, and the such leave me baffled. I can play cards, play piano, and embroider as required, but why would anyone want to do those when you can be outside? In fact, I hate winter. I spend most of it planning my next garden or tinkering in the greenhouse/conservatory. The best days are the days I can go to the university and work in the botany department (need to check that was a thing then).

Oh, thought! Have her compare different people/personalities to different types of plants!


 

And so it will go for a few days. Harriet and I will be having some deep conversations and some lighter-hearted ones. What are the things she likes? The things she fears? What does she want more than anything? What does she believe about herself? What does she need to learn? etc. These are hard questions to draw out, but I love the excitement of it.

 

Just so you don’t think Harriet is fully developed before I put words on paper, this initial examination is rarely what she ends up looking like as I actually write. Harriet will grow and define herself, shedding some of the things I thought we decided in the beginning. She will develop her own voice and become a real person. Even scarier, she will start making her own decisions and direct my story in ways I never envisioned.

 

I hope you enjoyed a little sneak peek of my process in developing characters, now I really am going to get off here and dive into uninterrupted conversation with Harriet. I’m starting to get caught up on reading, so look for more steady book reviews in the coming months. 🙂

 

Do you like gardening? What things do you think Harriet will need in order to rightly portray someone who loves plants, maybe even more than people?

 

 

Researching Grief – Childhood Grief Resources

Author Desk: Meet the Heroes

Welcome to the end of a crazy month (so crazy, I’m a day late on this post) with the prospect of one more left to go. It’s wild how much our world can change within a matter of weeks. I pray you are staying home, staying healthy, and if you are one of those essential workers getting out every day to serve the rest of us, THANK YOU SO MUCH. My prayers are with you no matter where you may be working.

I am back at editing my Secret Service story, so to shake things up a bit, I thought I’d share the inspiration for each of my Secret Service heroes.

Meet the Heroes of Counterfeit Love

Broderick Cosgrove

Broderick works as an undercover Secret Service operative during the early 1880s. He is focused, loves puzzles, and sees his service to country as primary in his life. He pursues justice and truth with care so that no innocent person comes to harm and all who are guilty face a punishment befitting their crime.

His goal in Counterfeit Love: Ferret out the leaders of an elusive counterfeiting gang before they can get the new counterfeit twenties into circulation and damage an already fragile economy.

The Challenge: His former fiancée has somehow become entangled with the gang. She is innocent, but how can he prove it and protect her while doing his job? 

The real inspiration behind the character:

Andrew L. Drummond, Chief of the Secret Service between February 1891 and January 1894 – The initial inspiration for this story came from his book True Detective Stories. One of my favorite stories is where he was “arrested” and escaped jail with a counterfeiter in order to build the trust of an elusive gang. Where did his escapades lead him, but Cincinnati? The location of my story.

Andrew Darlington

While Andrew Darlington may not seem the hero type, he is a man trying to overcome a secret past which could cost him his job as a Secret Service operative. Therefore, he strikes every case with a vengeance. Collateral damage don’t matter so long as the criminal is brought to justice and put behind bars. 

His Goal in Counterfeit Love: Prove Theresa Plane is the real mastermind behind the elusive counterfeiting ring. No one knows better than him how corrupted and devilish a woman’s soul can be.

The Challenge: Broderick Cosgrove has been swindled by the woman and now he must work around a fellow operative to bring the truth to light.

 The real inspiration behind the character:

William P. Wood, Chief of the Secret Service from January 1863 to May 1869

Chief Wood earned a reputation for rash aggressiveness. In the book Illegal Tender, David R. Johnson described Chief Wood as “prowl[ing] the boundaries between legitimate and deviant society” and “lacking scruples and good judgment.” This was the basis for my backstory for Darlington. He is a complex character which you only scratch the surface of in Counterfeit Love. 

Josiah Isaacs

Poor Josiah Isaacs is an accidental play boy. He can’t help it that women take his friendliness to be flirtation, and bless his soul, he’s incapable of purposely breaking a woman’s heart. He’s been cornered into a proposal multiple times, and uses cases which take him away from home to convince the women he’s not a good for them so they break it off. He’s smart, caring, and understands Broderick’s position, but duty to their job must have the final say in the case.

His goal in Counterfeit Love: Allow Broderick–his partner and friend–the support and space he needs to prove whether or not Theresa Plane is guilty, but stand firm in revealing the truth should evidence prove otherwise.

The Challenge: Withholding information from their superiors could cost their job, and when the evidence continues to point toward Theresa Plane’s guilt, his friendship with Broderick becomes strained.

 

The real inspiration for the character:

There isn’t one particular Secret Service operative who stuck out to me to inspire Isaacs. He is sort of a meshing of many operative stories and characters. For me, I wanted a character who would play off the others and be fun to develop, and what more fun can I have than with a man who doesn’t mean to flirt and keeps getting engaged even when he never wants to marry? The story I have planned for him will be so much fun!

 

Researching Grief – Childhood Grief Resources

Author Desk:

Welcome to a new feature I’m doing this year during the last week of each month. The topics of Notes from the Author’s Desk will vary. Sometimes it will be fascinating research I’ve discovered, exciting writing updates I want to share, or just something reading-related. I’ve left this open as a sort of whatever fits the needs post.

If you have questions you’d like answered, send me an email and it could become one of the topics for Notes from the Author’s Desk. I look forward to sharing a bit of my writing world with you!


I’m a little behind again this week, but with good reason. Love Inspired announced two weeks ago that they are opening up a trade book line of historical romance. So for the last two weeks, I have been editing away at my Counterfeit Love manuscript and will finally be ready to send it off to my agent this evening. 

During the editing process, God called me to cut my very first chapter, the one which had won and been a finalist in five or six different awards. It was brutal to let it go, BUT I couldn’t let it go all the way. I’ve turned it into a subscriber-only download for my newsletter. It only takes about fifteen minutes to read and gives you an idea about my writing style. I may have even gone gung-ho and created a cheesy book cover. Don’t judge, I can’t even match my own clothes. If you already subscribe to my newsletter, don’t worry, an email is coming out in a couple of weeks with the download and some extra news. 😉  (And here’s the link to subscribe if you are interested!)

In a world of counterfeits, who can they trust?

Cincinnati, 1884: Raised more as a soldier than a proper Victorian lady, Theresa Plane is determined to save her grandfather from treacherous creditors, but he harbors a secret that threatens their future. When he is murdered, his betrayal leaves her to fight for her home and face threats to her life alone.

After months of undercover work, Secret Service operative Broderick Cosgrove is on the verge of arresting a notorious counterfeiting gang. However, when evidence reveals his former fiancée, Theresa, is entangled in their schemes, the case takes a personal turn. Protecting her and proving her innocence will risk his career and his cover, but he cannot fail her again.

As complications drive them deeper into danger, betrayal threatens their survival and tests the limits of their faith and hearts.

 

Here’s a little secret about the download if you aren’t already a subscriber: You can sign up for my newsletter, download the chapter, and then unsubscribe if you aren’t interested in continuing to hear from me. But shhh, I’m probably not supposed to admit that. 😉 

Before I take off, I wanted to remind you of one more opportunity: 

Don’t forget you can sign up for a chance to win an e-copy of Patti Stockdale’s WWI love story, Three Little Things. For you’re convenience, I’ve put it right here for you to go ahead and enter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

That’s it for this month’s Author Desk. Hopefully, next month I’ll be right back in the thick of the Civil War and sharing all the fascinating things I’m learning there. Have a great week, and know I’ll be praying for you!

 

WIPs for 2020 – Notes from the Author’s Desk

Welcome to a new feature I’m doing this year during the last week of each month. The topics of Notes from the Author’s Desk will vary. Sometimes it will be fascinating research I’ve discovered, exciting writing updates I want to share, or just something reading related. I’ve left this open as a sort of whatever fits the needs post.

If you have questions you’d like answered, send me an email and it could become one of the topics for a Notes from the Author’s Desk. I look forward to sharing a bit of my writing world with you!


What’s in the Writing Works for 2020?

The New Year has brought a new challenge which I never thought I’d face, the writing of a Civil War novel with the potential for a series. This is not a time period I have ever really desired to write in–not because it isn’t filled with potential story ideas, but because I understand both sides of the War and felt I could never do it justice.

Kentucky has the unique history of being a border state and ending more Confederate in their leanings after the War than at the beginning of the War. It was a state who could see both sides of the argument, had their own polarized opinions, and struggled to remain politically neutral. As a (nearly) life-long Kentuckian, I’ve grown up with this unique viewpoint as the grounding for my understanding of the Civil War. Neither the North or South were villains.

To communicate this in a story, to give an honest view of the people during the Civil War which is today, still such a delicate topic, has intimidated me beyond belief. Pre-Civil War, great! Post-Civil War, you got it! But to write during that period? No thanks, never will it be on my agenda.

Pro Life Tip: Never tell God you’re never going to do something. It’s an almost guarantee He will call you to it. So here I am, researching my bottom off to gain a clear understanding of the war and all of its many facets. The Civil War is so incredibly large in scope that it is impossible to become an expert on every area, so I started wide and narrowed down to what actually ended up being my own state’s involvement with the War.

Antietam, Maryland – Pixabay.com

The Research and Project Focus

It wasn’t my intention, but it’s where God led me. He also led me to examine war correspondents–who were the self-proclaimed “Bohemian Brigade”; the little talked or written about laundresses of the armies; the Confederate capture of Columbus, KY; the Battle of Belmont, MO (just across the river from Columbus); and the Battles of Fort Henry and Fort Donelson.

So far I have over 60,000 words typed up in research notes. That’s the length of a small novel. That doesn’t even count the 20,000 or so words typed up for character descriptions, brainstorming, my “sloppy synopsis”, and other tools I use to help develop my story before getting to the actual draft. And all of this is since Christmas break–just over a month.

No wonder I haven’t read much in the fiction world. I HAVE read about sixteen non-fiction research books (in part and in whole) and countless online resources, with plans for a couple of research trips in the works.

It’s still too early to share much about the story, but watch for posts on the last Tuesday of the month to learn what’s going on with the project and my writing world.

SNEAK PEEK

What I CAN tell you is this story involves a Kentucky woman with Successionist leanings whose brother has enlisted in the Union Army. Circumstances come about to bring her to be a laundress in her brother’s company. Throw in a war correspondent, a suspicious Union officer, and conflicted loyalties and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

I’m still hammering out details and examining plausibility for many things, but I’m excited for where God is leading this story so far. So come back each month to check out research, Civil War stories, sneak peeks at my progress, or any other news that may arise this year.

A Question (or two) for You

What part of Civil War history interests you? What do you wish you knew more about? Anything you wish you saw more of in Civil War fiction?

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